thebaconsandwichofregret:

kimbbearly:

why dont humans have a specific noise that means “there are bees here lets leave immediately” why are elephants more advanced than us

we do have a specific noise, it sounds like this:

“there are bees here lets leave immediately”

(via birsima)

morthils:

morthils:

i’d kill for a steady income tbh

so turns out this is called being an assassin. finally, a career for me

(via birsima)

captainsisko:

im a putlocker man at heart but sometimes you just gotta settle for gorillavid

(via birsima)

(via that-empty-chair)

foxnewsofficial:

someone just sent me a message saying there’s an okcupid account catfishing with my selfies to find a sugar daddy but i had to tell them that’s actually really me

(via just-nicole)

mydadisindianajones:

Person: Wow, why are you all dressed up just for going to the grocery store?

Me: 

(via ragegirl7-deactivated20170330)

captain-fucking-levi:

averypottermormon:

captain-fucking-levi:

ya-boy-levi:

captain-fucking-levi:

why am i not the protagonist of an amazing story

you are though—its called your life

shut the fuck up i wanna struggle fighting demons not struggle with getting out of bed every day

but those are your demons

i am hereby naming you as the antagonist and now it is my sole job to find you and hit you in the face with a chair for that bitch ass comment you just made

(via internet-sexplorers)

nichtwing:

kids, when you’re choosing your college schedule, you’ll hear a voice saying “just take the 8AM class. it won’t be that bad. you’ve done it for this long” that’s the devil talking

(via internet-sexplorers)